The "Must Post" Thread

Ultra · April 05, 2009, 11:04:19 AM

It's all Greek to me.

Boxer2500 · April 05, 2009, 05:48:34 PM

Does anyone feel like knocking out a publishable 20+ page term paper on the BLM's Geographic Coordinate Database and its potential uses and maintenance?

At this point, I'm willing to pay handsomely.

Ultra · April 05, 2009, 07:27:15 PM

Quote from: Boxer2500 on April 05, 2009, 05:48:34 PM
Does anyone feel like knocking out a publishable 20+ page term paper on the BLM's Geographic Coordinate Database and its potential uses and maintenance?

At this point, I'm willing to pay handsomely.

I wanna read it when you are done.

;D

porridgehead · April 05, 2009, 09:45:56 PM

˙uɐılɐɹʇsnɐ ǝɯos ʍouʞ ı ʇnq 'uıʇɐl ʎuɐ ʍouʞ ʇ,uop ı

porridgehead · April 05, 2009, 10:12:41 PM

Publishable? Hmmm... publishable... that's a toughie. I've got lots of material that's completely unpublishable on that very subject, but nothing that even remotely resembles anything suitable for human consumption.

"From the very genesis of implementation, the Bureau of Land Management's Geographic Coordinate's database began with a flawed premise, imprecise execution, mismanaged data acquisition, and the kind of rampant devil-may-care development that one usually witnesses among besotted French vintners/software developers during harvest season in Provence. As one traces the creation, procedures, rules and consistency of the BLM data structure, one realizes that rabid simians would have fared better in this quest, even if they had to somehow develop the database in the seminal format of flung feces. The fact that otherwise rational individuals have come to rely upon such a government created steaming heap of bukkake code, leads one to question one's own veracity. However, the preponderance of evidence (eg: the cadastral stating that all of Rhode Island is, in fact, located somewhere south of Tempe, AZ, the insistence that Missituckey is actually a state, the disappearance of Roswell, NM from all land survey records (Ok, so that may be intentional, rather than simply incompetence.) all point conclusively to the single unified theorem that offers any form of rational explanation: the BLM has developed a mind-control ray.

Well, you get the idea. You can see the rest of my treatise in the Area 51/black ops forums in Abovetopsecret.com and shadowresearch.com. It's right next to the section on Skyquakes, Brown Noise Generators and Disney's Cryogenic Head.
Gawd. I love my Brown Noise Generator. Once I devised proper insulation and rigged a power supply in my car. life has never been better.

(the above is fiction. Don't believe a word of it. It's fake. Phony. Useless drivel. Please don't hunt me down again. Is that the muffled drone of a silenced chopper I hear? Oh crap. Gotta run! Ta!)

ImpishGrin · April 06, 2009, 07:42:37 AM

Huh?

porridgehead · April 06, 2009, 10:25:28 AM

Boxer was looking for help with a paper. I provided him with a scrap o'crap. It's nothing but nonsense.

Your reaction of "Huh" was correct, nonetheless, I felt a need to explain.

Ultra · April 06, 2009, 11:11:27 AM

Quote from: porridgehead on April 05, 2009, 10:12:41 PM
Publishable? Hmmm... publishable... that's a toughie. I've got lots of material that's completely unpublishable on that very subject, but nothing that even remotely resembles anything suitable for human consumption.

"From the very genesis of implementation, the Bureau of Land Management's Geographic Coordinate's database began with a flawed premise, imprecise execution, mismanaged data acquisition, and the kind of rampant devil-may-care development that one usually witnesses among besotted French vintners/software developers during harvest season in Provence. As one traces the creation, procedures, rules and consistency of the BLM data structure, one realizes that rabid simians would have fared better in this quest, even if they had to somehow develop the database in the seminal format of flung feces. The fact that otherwise rational individuals have come to rely upon such a government created steaming heap of bukkake code, leads one to question one's own veracity. However, the preponderance of evidence (eg: the cadastral stating that all of Rhode Island is, in fact, located somewhere south of Tempe, AZ, the insistence that Missituckey is actually a state, the disappearance of Roswell, NM from all land survey records (Ok, so that may be intentional, rather than simply incompetence.) all point conclusively to the single unified theorem that offers any form of rational explanation: the BLM has developed a mind-control ray.

Well, you get the idea. You can see the rest of my treatise in the Area 51/black ops forums in Abovetopsecret.com and shadowresearch.com. It's right next to the section on Skyquakes, Brown Noise Generators and Disney's Cryogenic Head.
Gawd. I love my Brown Noise Generator. Once I devised proper insulation and rigged a power supply in my car. life has never been better.

(the above is fiction. Don't believe a word of it. It's fake. Phony. Useless drivel. Please don't hunt me down again. Is that the muffled drone of a silenced chopper I hear? Oh crap. Gotta run! Ta!)

:lmao:

God I needed a good laugh.

Thx, P-head.

;D

Boxer2500 · April 07, 2009, 04:00:32 AM

Quote from: porridgehead on April 05, 2009, 10:12:41 PM
Publishable? Hmmm... publishable... that's a toughie. I've got lots of material that's completely unpublishable on that very subject, but nothing that even remotely resembles anything suitable for human consumption.

"From the very genesis of implementation, the Bureau of Land Management's Geographic Coordinate's database began with a flawed premise, imprecise execution, mismanaged data acquisition, and the kind of rampant devil-may-care development that one usually witnesses among besotted French vintners/software developers during harvest season in Provence. As one traces the creation, procedures, rules and consistency of the BLM data structure, one realizes that rabid simians would have fared better in this quest, even if they had to somehow develop the database in the seminal format of flung feces. The fact that otherwise rational individuals have come to rely upon such a government created steaming heap of bukkake code, leads one to question one's own veracity. However, the preponderance of evidence (eg: the cadastral stating that all of Rhode Island is, in fact, located somewhere south of Tempe, AZ, the insistence that Missituckey is actually a state, the disappearance of Roswell, NM from all land survey records (Ok, so that may be intentional, rather than simply incompetence.) all point conclusively to the single unified theorem that offers any form of rational explanation: the BLM has developed a mind-control ray.

Well, you get the idea. You can see the rest of my treatise in the Area 51/black ops forums in Abovetopsecret.com and shadowresearch.com. It's right next to the section on Skyquakes, Brown Noise Generators and Disney's Cryogenic Head.
Gawd. I love my Brown Noise Generator. Once I devised proper insulation and rigged a power supply in my car. life has never been better.

(the above is fiction. Don't believe a word of it. It's fake. Phony. Useless drivel. Please don't hunt me down again. Is that the muffled drone of a silenced chopper I hear? Oh crap. Gotta run! Ta!)

Whoa. Eerily on the mark. You have clearly worked for (or with) the U.S. Department of the Interior before.

Incompetent bastards they are - they couldn't even tell me how to fix the dash rattles in my old VW.

Ray B. · April 07, 2009, 04:33:23 AM

Dash rattles! That's a big problemo.

Otto Puzzell · April 07, 2009, 05:28:26 AM

...and it's dastardly partner, scuttle squeak.

Ultra · April 07, 2009, 08:32:22 AM

My head rattles.

Otto Puzzell · April 07, 2009, 08:51:38 AM

Like a marble in a paint can?

porridgehead · April 07, 2009, 10:13:55 AM

Quote from: Boxer2500 on April 07, 2009, 04:00:32 AM
Whoa. Eerily on the mark. You have clearly worked for (or with) the U.S. Department of the Interior before.

Nah. I just have lots of experience with feces flinging bukkake code. Mostly on the creation side. Sadly, I program like I write. So much so that I've been told that I should abstain from all program commenting and/or documentation. Or else. In a quantified study, it was discovered that it was far more efficient to weigh through my spaghetti code than it was to try to follow my "so-called, alleged, documentation".

So I've got that going for me.

Ultra · April 07, 2009, 10:33:33 AM

Nice avatar.

porridgehead · April 07, 2009, 06:06:37 PM

Think of it when you read the words that I write.

Explains quite a bit, doesn't it?

Otto Puzzell · April 08, 2009, 03:42:07 AM

Volumes.

Ultra · April 09, 2009, 11:46:56 AM

Quote from: Otto Puzzell on April 08, 2009, 03:42:07 AM
Volumes.

Turn it up to 11.

porridgehead · April 09, 2009, 12:25:52 PM

Mine goes to 12. That's the equivalent of "Plaid"

Otto Puzzell · April 09, 2009, 01:14:10 PM

Is the nickname P'Head pronounced "fed" or "pee-hed"?

porridgehead · April 09, 2009, 04:22:05 PM

It's an oft asked question. The correct pronunciation is NikktoKlaatuAlvaRamirezBugblatterNiTroybiltJohnthomasRegnadKcin III.

Most, however, pronounce the leading "P" as "Dick"

I prefer Pee, myself.

Roger will do in a pinch too, though my real name is Jon.

@re · April 09, 2009, 08:01:50 PM

Now I think I've sorted out the mess I left behind with my own puzzles. Tomorrow, I'll see if I can get back to solving some :)

Ultra · April 09, 2009, 08:10:26 PM

Quote from: @re on April 09, 2009, 08:01:50 PM
Now I think I've sorted out the mess I left behind with my own puzzles. Tomorrow, I'll see if I can get back to solving some :)

Welcome back!

ImpishGrin · April 10, 2009, 06:41:07 AM

Murray (To Damon Hill)): When did you realise that you had a puncture, Damon?

Damon Hill: When my tyre went down, Murray!

Ultra · April 10, 2009, 10:57:52 AM

Murray had a special charm.

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The "Must Post" Thread