Conversions They Left out of Your Handbook

[Otto Puzzell]

Keep these handy...

ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter: eskimo pi

2000 pounds of chinese soup: won ton

1 millionth of a mouthwash: 1 microscope

time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement: 1 bananosecond.

weight an evangelist carries with god: 1 billigram

time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour: knot-furlong

365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it's less filling: 1 lite year

16.5 feet in the twilight zone: 1 rod sterling

half of a large intestine: 1 semicolon

1000 aches: 1 kilohurtz

basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower

shortest distance between two jokes: a straight line.

453.6 graham crackers: 1 pound cake

1 million microphones: 1 megaphone

1 million bicycles: 2 megacycles

2000 mockingbirds: two kilomockingbirds

10 cards: 1 decacards

1 kilogram of falling figs: 1 fig newton

1000 cubic centimeters of wet socks: 1 literhosen

1 millionth of a fish: 1 microfiche

1 trillion pins: 1 terrapin

10 rations: 1 decoration

100 rations: 1 C-ration

2 monograms: 1 diagram

8 nickels: 2 paradigms