Golf lesson

[Carnut]

Here is an actual sign posted at a golf club in Scotland UK:

BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT, FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART.
FORM A LOOSE GRIP.
KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN!
STAY OUT OF THE WATER.
TRY NOT TO HIT ANYONE.
IF YOU ARE TAKING TOO LONG, LET OTHERS GO AHEAD OF YOU
DON'T STAND DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS.
QUIET PLEASE...WHILE OTHERS ARE CONCENTRATING.
DON'T TAKE EXTRA STROKES.

WELL DONE.. NOW, FLUSH THE URINAL, GO OUTSIDE, AND TEE OFF