Work Jokes

[Otto Puzzell]

Don't mess with the boss

A man walks into a pet shop to buy a pet parrot. The sales assistant shows the customer a selection of parrots and asks him to choose one.

The man asks, "How much is the yellow one?"

"He's $2,000," the assistant replies. "But this parrot is very special – he can type really fast."

"Okay, what about the green one?" the man asks.

"He costs $4,000, because he can type, answer incoming phone calls and he takes notes," the salesperson replies.

"Well what about the red one?" the man asks.

The assistant replies, "That one's $10,000."

Curious, the man says, "Gosh, that's a lot – what does he do?"

"I don't know," the assistant says, "but the other two call him boss."

Be careful what you wish for...

A sales manager, HR director and the boss of an organisation are on their way to an off-site meeting when they stumble across a dusty urn.

The sales manager picks it up and cleans it with her handkerchief. A genie suddenly emerges in a curtain of coloured smoke, and offers them each one wish.

The sales manager answers first. "I want to be living on a beautiful beach in Jamaica with a sailboat and enough money to make me happy for the rest of my life," she says.

Poof! She disappears.

The HR director goes next. "I want holiday homes in New York, Paris and London and $10 million in the bank."

Presto! He vanishes.

"And how about you?" asks the Genie, looking at the boss.

The boss scowls and says, "I want both those idiots back in the office by 2pm."

Moral of the Story? Always let your boss speak first.