Musings from an old bloke

[Carnut]

I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters. Do they just give you a big bra and say, "Here, fill this out"?

Denny's has a slogan: "If it's your birthday, the meal is on us." If you're in Denny's and it's your birthday, your life sucks!

On average, an American man will have sex two to three times a week; whereas, a Japanese man will have sex only one or two times a year.
This is upsetting news to me – I had no idea I was Japanese.

I can't understand why women are okay that J.C. Penny has an older women's clothing line named "Sag Harbor."

What is it about a car that makes people think we can't see them pick their nose?

When I die, I want to be reincarnated as a spider so I can finally hear a woman say, " Oh, my God, it's huge."